Rowan Lees – Laury’s cousin - with his special object

“I felt that the crossing was a unique opportunity to focus on our grief as a family and talk more openly about our collective loss. I had felt worried about the trip in the build up to it as I wasn’t sure how I’d cope. My sea sickness got the better of me on the main crossing day and I found myself lying in my cabin feeling delirious. I felt angry with myself until it dawned on me that I was already berating myself for all the things I didn’t do when Laury was alive, and I was now making things worse. I lay there thinking about how Laury would react, and I imagined him laughing, which allowed me to forgive myself. I liked following the winds and the tides out at sea and I felt involved in the process - it felt like a pilgrimage. I was the one mostly in charge of the ropes, so I would like to be represented like this. Coming through it I feel like I can talk to people with more emotional honesty, and I feel more connected to Solen and Maïa, who I know are much closer to the grief.”